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Its okay (To be over it)

August 18, 2017

I am writing this after my third trip to the toilet in fifteen minutes- and I don’t mean the never-ending wee breaks. I mean my bowels are in a dither, and I’m stoked about it! This is what pregnancy for nigh on nine months will do to you. This could be an early labour sign! If you’re anything like me, any and every one of those will be greeted by short lived disgust or aversion and shortly followed up with anticipation and excitement. “Honey! I’m having MAD lightning crotch! It really hurts! Maybe my cervix is opening or she’s engaging more!” (Must read in excited tone).

 

This is coming from someone who hasn’t had a difficult pregnancy- far from it, truth be told (Aside from dodgy hips and back pain until I left work, and the hellish nightmare that is gallstones). I can function for a significant chunk of every day and that’s better than a lot of people can say. That being said- no matter how cruisy your ride has been, and no matter how daunting the prospect of it being over is- there comes a time when enough is enough. Even my bub’s movement (which made me so happy the past twenty weeks) have become irksome. Not all the time, just when I’m trying to sleep, when they reach into my ribs all of a sudden, when hiccups mean rhythmic thumping against your bladder for twenty minutes, and when bub decides to roll from side to side causing Alien-esque belly shapes for the duration of a whole episode of Game of Thrones. Call me inattentive, but I can’t concentrate on Daenerys being a badass over the distraction of a 45cm long baby doing incessant somersaults.

 

This is all especially true for those of us who hesitantly joined the overdue club. At the beginning of the pregnancy you're so fixated on your due date and then it approaches and... nothing. Not a hint of things stirring within. I went to a mother's day get together at my long day care service and answered the inquiries over bub's imminent arrival with the words, "Due today, actually!" approximately a million times with the same horrified and/or pitying look bestowed upon me by everyone who heard. Then, not only did the due date come, it went. And went. And at 11 days past, got the ball rolling with a little help.

 

My point is that it’s totally okay to be over pregnancy before it’s over. It’s okay to be over it way earlier than you’ll admit, even to yourself. As beautiful and magical as it is, living in a state of being where blowing your nose triggers morning sickness (yes, that really happened to me, more than once) unequivocally sucks. It’s okay. I give you permission to hate it. It doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate the experience, or wouldn’t do it over again if you’d been better informed of the reality, or that you will be any less of an awesome parent. It just means that you’re human and sometimes humans love and hate things at the same time.

 

 

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